What If You’ve Been Asking God for Answers Without Knowing Him?
There are moments when almost every believer has wondered:
Why isn’t God answering my prayers?
We pray. We wait. We pray again. We wonder whether God heard us. We wonder whether we said something wrong. We wonder whether we need more faith, whether we need to pray differently, or whether God has simply decided not to answer.
But before we begin examining all the possible reasons a prayer may seem unanswered, there is a question that comes before every other question.
Do I actually know the God I am praying to?
That may sound like an unusual question. After all, if someone is praying to God, wouldn’t that mean they know Him?
Not necessarily.
It is possible to believe God exists without having a relationship with Him.
It is possible to know Scripture without knowing Him.
It is possible to attend church, sing worship songs, believe in prayer, ask God for help, and even speak about God while never having personally received Jesus Christ.
And that distinction matters because Christianity does not begin with prayer.
Christianity begins with Christ.
Prayer Is Not the Door Into Relationship With God
We sometimes talk about prayer as though it is the thing that connects humanity to God. But Jesus said something much more specific.
“I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”— John 14:6 KJV
Jesus did not say prayer is the way.
He did not say sincerity is the way.
He did not say believing that God exists is the way.
He said, “I am the way.”
That means before we ask, Why isn’t God answering me? there may be a more foundational question:
Have I come to the Father through His Son?
Romans tells us:
“That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.”— Romans 10:9 KJV
The gospel is not an invitation to add God to our lives as someone we contact when we need supernatural assistance.
It is an invitation to be reconciled to God through Jesus Christ.
And there is a tremendous difference between the two.
Have We Turned God Into a Vending Machine?
Think about how a vending machine works.
You approach it because there is something inside that you want.
You make your selection.
You put something into the machine.
You push the button.
And you expect the machine to dispense what you selected.
Transaction completed.
If nothing comes out, you become frustrated because you put something in and expected something back.
Without realizing it, sometimes we can approach prayer in much the same way.
I prayed.
I believed.
I gave.
I went to church.
I tried to be good.
I quoted the Scripture.
I asked in Jesus’ name.
So why hasn’t God given me what I selected?
Heal me.
Fix my finances.
Send me someone.
Change them.
Open the door.
Give me an answer.
Take this away.
Bless my plan.
But God is not a vending machine, and prayer was never intended to be a transaction in which we insert enough faith and receive the outcome we selected.
Prayer is relationship.
And relationship with God begins with receiving the One He has already given.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son…”— John 3:16 KJV
Before we become consumed with what God hasn’t given us, perhaps we should stop and look at what He already has.
He gave us Jesus.
Do You Want God—or Something From God?
This is where the question becomes uncomfortable.
Because sometimes what we really want isn’t God.
We want what we believe God can do.
We want healing.
We want provision.
We want the relationship restored.
We want the job.
We want the door opened.
We want the pain removed.
We want the problem solved.
We want God to change somebody.
We want Him to tell us what to do next.
And none of those desires automatically make us wrong. Scripture repeatedly invites us to bring our needs to God. Jesus Himself taught His disciples to ask the Father for daily bread. Philippians tells us to bring our requests to God.
The problem isn’t that we ask.
The question is whether asking is the only reason we come.
What happens when there is nothing we desperately need?
Do we still seek Him?
What happens when the crisis passes?
Do we still pray?
What happens when the answer doesn’t come?
Do we still want God if God does not give us the answer we wanted?
That begins revealing something about the relationship.
Imagine having a person in your life who only contacts you when they need something.
Every conversation begins with a request.
Every phone call contains a problem.
Every visit has an agenda.
They aren’t particularly interested in knowing you. They are interested in what you can provide.
Eventually, we would recognize that this isn’t much of a relationship.
Yet sometimes we can approach God exactly that way and call it prayer.
Knowing About God Is Not the Same as Knowing God
There is another distinction we need to make.
A person can know a remarkable amount about God without knowing God.
Jesus confronted this very issue with religious people who knew Scripture exceptionally well.
He told them:
“Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me. And ye will not come to me, that ye might have life.”— John 5:39–40 KJV
Think about that.
They searched Scripture.
They possessed theological knowledge.
They knew religious practices.
And yet Jesus said the Scriptures they were studying were pointing toward Him, while they were refusing to come to Him.
Information about God and relationship with God are not the same thing.
Going to church does not automatically mean we know Him.
Growing up in a Christian family does not mean we know Him.
Owning a Bible does not mean we know Him.
Posting Scripture does not mean we know Him.
Believing there is a God does not mean we have been reconciled to Him.
Even praying does not, by itself, answer the question.
John writes:
“But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name.”— John 1:12 KJV
Notice the language.
Received Him.
Not merely received His help.
Not merely received His blessings.
Not merely received an answer.
Received Him.
But Does God Hear Someone Who Hasn’t Received Christ?
We need to be careful here because this subject is sometimes taught far too simplistically.
You may have heard someone say, “God doesn’t hear the prayers of unbelievers.”
But Scripture gives us a more nuanced picture than that statement suggests.
Acts 10 tells us about Cornelius before his encounter with Peter and before the gospel was fully explained to him. Cornelius prayed to God, and an angel told him:
“Thy prayers and thine alms are come up for a memorial before God.”— Acts 10:4 KJV
God was clearly aware of Cornelius’s prayers.
And what did God do?
He directed Cornelius toward Peter, who would tell him about Jesus Christ.
That is important.
The story doesn’t teach us that relationship with Christ is unnecessary because Cornelius prayed.
It shows us a God who was drawing a seeking man toward the gospel.
So I would be very careful about telling someone, “God cannot hear you.”
Instead, I would ask:
Could the very fact that you are reaching toward God be an invitation to come closer and discover who He actually is?
Maybe you started praying because your marriage is hurting.
Maybe you started praying because you are frightened.
Maybe you started praying because someone you love is sick.
Maybe you started praying because your finances collapsed.
Maybe desperation caused you to look upward for the first time in years.
Then look.
Seek.
Ask.
But don’t stop at the thing you need.
Follow the invitation all the way to Jesus.
What If the Greatest Answer Isn’t the Thing You Asked For?
We often measure God’s response to prayer by whether circumstances changed.
Did the relationship come back?
Did the money arrive?
Did the diagnosis change?
Did the door open?
Did the problem disappear?
But what if, while we are staring at the thing we asked God to change, God is inviting us into something infinitely greater?
Himself.
Jesus prayed to the Father:
“And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.”— John 17:3 KJV
That verse changes the conversation.
Eternal life is not merely living forever.
Jesus described it relationally:
“That they might know thee.”
Maybe we have spent so much time asking God to improve our lives that we have missed the invitation to know the God who gives life.
And perhaps before asking,
“Why isn’t God answering my prayers?”
we should ask:
“Do I know Him?”
Not, Do I know about Him?
Not, Do I believe He exists?
Not, Do I pray when something goes wrong?
Not, Did my grandmother take me to church?
Not, Can I quote Scripture?
Not even, Do I believe prayer works?
Have I received Jesus Christ?
Before Asking What God Will Give You, Receive the Son He Has Already Given
If you realize while reading this that you have spent years praying to God but have never actually surrendered your life to Jesus Christ, you do not need an elaborate religious ceremony.
Come to Him.
Acknowledge your need for Him.
Believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, that He died for your sin and rose again.
Confess Him as Lord.
Receive Him.
And then begin something entirely different from using prayer to get things from God.
Begin knowing Him.
Talk to Him when you need something—and when you don’t.
Open Scripture not merely searching for an answer to your problem, but asking, “God, what can I see about You here?”
Seek His presence, not merely His provision.
Learn His character.
Learn His heart.
Let prayer become more than the place where you submit requests.
Let prayer become one of the places where relationship grows.
Because perhaps the greatest transformation in our prayer life happens when our primary question stops being:
“God, what will You do for me?”
and becomes:
“God, I want to know You.”
There will still be requests.
There will still be needs.
There will still be prayers for healing, provision, direction, relationships, children, families, open doors, closed doors, and circumstances we desperately want God to change.
But those prayers begin from an entirely different place.
We are no longer standing in front of a vending machine waiting for something to drop.
We are coming to our Father through Jesus Christ.
And sometimes, before God answers the question we keep asking, He invites us to discover the One to whom we have been speaking all along.
Much Love
~Gayla~
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