You Can't Keep Feeding the Old Man and Expect the New Man to Grow

There is something interesting about growth.
Whatever we continually feed tends to become stronger.
We understand this naturally. If we want a plant to grow, we give it what supports growth. We pay attention to the soil, the light, the water, and the environment surrounding it.
But spiritually, we sometimes expect something very different.
We want the new life Christ has given us to flourish while continually feeding ourselves the same things that nourished the old one.
The same attitudes.
The same thought patterns.
The same influences.
The same appetites.
The same conversations.
The same resentments.
The same entertainment.
The same excuses.
The same ways of responding when we’re angry, disappointed, rejected, frightened, or hurt.
Then we wonder:
Why am I still struggling with the same things?
Perhaps the question isn’t only what we’re trying to stop doing.
Maybe we need to ask:
What am I continually feeding?
Because you can’t keep feeding the old man and expect the new man to grow.
Salvation Gives Us New Life, but Our Minds Still Need Renewing
In the first blog of this series, we talked about the difference between struggling with sin and becoming comfortable with it.
We also looked at Paul’s instruction in Ephesians:
“That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man…And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;And that ye put on the new man…”— Ephesians 4:22–24 KJV
Notice again that something happens between putting off and putting on.
Paul says:
“Be renewed in the spirit of your mind.”
That matters.
Because salvation doesn’t mean every thought pattern we developed before Christ instantly disappears.
We come to Christ carrying years of learned responses.
Ways we’ve learned to protect ourselves.
Things we’ve believed about ourselves.
Things we’ve believed about other people.
Ideas we’ve absorbed from culture.
Patterns we’ve inherited from family.
Appetites we’ve repeatedly satisfied.
Habits we’ve practiced until they feel automatic.
And now we belong to Christ.
But some of those old patterns are still familiar.
So Scripture tells us something must happen to the mind.
Paul writes:
“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind…”— Romans 12:2 KJV
Look at the language.
Transformed.
Not disguised.
Not managed.
Not polished.
Transformed.
And where does Paul say this transformation takes place?
Through the renewing of the mind.
What Are You Feeding Your Mind?
This is where the conversation becomes practical.
We consume things all day long.
Not merely food.
Words.
Images.
Ideas.
Opinions.
Music.
Conversations.
Social media.
Entertainment.
News.
Other people’s anger.
Other people’s fears.
Other people’s values.
Other people’s definitions of success.
And whether we realize it or not, repeated exposure shapes us.
That doesn’t mean everything outside explicitly Christian content is evil.
That’s not the point.
The question is much more personal:
What is this producing in me?
Does what I continually consume make me more peaceful or more anxious?
More compassionate or more cynical?
More content or more covetous?
More sexually pure or more comfortable with lust?
More forgiving or more offended?
More grateful or more dissatisfied?
More interested in truth or more interested in having my opinions confirmed?
More sensitive to the Holy Spirit or increasingly numb to conviction?
Maybe instead of asking only:
“Is this technically wrong?”
we should sometimes ask:
“What is this feeding in me?”
Those are very different questions.
You Can Starve Something and Still Keep Giving It Snacks
Sometimes we tell ourselves we’ve walked away from something while continuing to give it just enough attention to keep it alive.
We stopped participating.
But we keep watching.
We stopped contacting them.
But we keep checking their page.
We say we’ve forgiven.
But we repeatedly rehearse the offense.
We say we’re trusting God.
But we continually feed ourselves every frightening possibility.
We say we want purity.
But we keep consuming things that awaken the very appetites we’re asking God to help us resist.
We say we want peace.
But we spend hours consuming outrage.
We say we want our minds renewed.
But we continually return to the same voices that shaped the thinking we’re asking God to change.
And then we wonder why the old appetite remains so strong.
Sometimes we’re trying to starve the old man while slipping him snacks under the table.
Paul Didn’t Say Manage the Old Man
Colossians 3 uses strong language:
“Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth…”— Colossians 3:5 KJV
“Mortify” isn’t exactly gentle language.
Paul isn’t telling believers to negotiate with the old patterns.
He isn’t saying:
Keep them around, but try to control them.
He continues:
“But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.”— Colossians 3:8 KJV
And then:
“Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:”— Colossians 3:9–10 KJV
There it is again.
Old man.
New man.
And again, renewal appears in the middle of the transformation.
God isn’t simply interested in getting us to suppress certain behaviors.
He is renewing us according to the image of the One who created us.
This is about becoming increasingly reflective of Christ.
The Flesh Has an Appetite
Galatians gives us another way of understanding this struggle.
Paul writes:
“This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.”— Galatians 5:16 KJV
Then he explains:
“For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh…”— Galatians 5:17 KJV
There is conflict.
And that means Christians shouldn’t necessarily be surprised when they experience internal struggle.
The existence of temptation doesn’t mean you aren’t saved.
The existence of an old appetite doesn’t mean transformation isn’t happening.
Sometimes the struggle itself reveals that something has changed.
Before Christ, perhaps you didn’t care.
Now something in you says:
This doesn’t belong here anymore.
But here’s where we need wisdom.
Just because the flesh has an appetite doesn’t mean we have to keep setting the table for it.
Which One Are You Setting the Table For?
Imagine preparing dinner for someone.
You set the table.
Buy their favorite foods.
Prepare everything exactly as they like it.
Pull out the chair.
Put the plate in front of them.
Then you say:
“I really hope you don’t eat.”
That would be ridiculous.
Yet spiritually, we sometimes do exactly that.
We create an environment perfectly suited to an old appetite and then ask God why the temptation is so strong.
We repeatedly expose ourselves to something.
Think about it.
Talk about it.
Watch it.
Listen to it.
Fantasize about it.
Keep easy access to it.
Then when desire rises, we act surprised.
But perhaps the better question is:
Why am I continually setting the table for something I’m asking God to help me stop feeding?
Sometimes spiritual maturity means removing the table.
The Fruit Tells Us What Is Being Cultivated
Paul eventually gives us two very different pictures in Galatians 5.
He describes the works of the flesh, including things such as hatred, strife, jealousy, wrath, envy, drunkenness, and other works contrary to God’s ways.
Then he gives us another picture:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,Meekness, temperance…”— Galatians 5:22–23 KJV
Notice that Paul calls these things fruit.
Fruit grows.
It develops.
It matures.
And fruit reveals something about what is happening within.
Perhaps we could examine our lives differently.
Instead of only asking:
“What am I doing wrong?”
ask:
“What is growing in me?”
Is resentment growing?
Or forgiveness?
Is fear growing?
Or trust?
Is irritation growing?
Or patience?
Is self-centeredness growing?
Or love?
Is impulsiveness growing?
Or self-control?
What we repeatedly nurture matters.
Feeding the New Man Is More Than Avoiding Bad Things
This is important because Christianity can quickly become a giant list of things we aren’t supposed to do.
Don’t watch that.
Don’t listen to that.
Don’t go there.
Don’t say that.
Don’t think that.
But if all we do is remove things without replacing them, we’ve misunderstood renewal.
Paul doesn’t only say put off.
He says put on.
We don’t merely stop feeding bitterness.
We begin practicing forgiveness.
We don’t merely stop feeding fear.
We begin filling our minds with truth about God’s character.
We don’t merely stop feeding lust.
We begin learning to see people with dignity rather than as objects for our consumption.
We don’t merely stop feeding anger.
We learn patience, gentleness, and self-control.
We don’t merely stop listening to voices that distort truth.
We fill our minds with the Word of God.
Renewal isn’t simply deprivation.
It is replacement.
The old way is removed while a new way is cultivated.
You Cannot Renew Your Mind With What Corrupted It
There may be things we have to stop giving access to our minds.
Not because someone gave us a religious rule.
Not because we’re trying to prove how holy we are.
But because we’ve finally recognized:
This keeps producing something in me that I don’t want growing anymore.
That could be a certain kind of entertainment.
A social media account.
A conversation.
A relationship dynamic.
A recurring environment.
A way of talking about people.
A constant stream of fear-based information.
Even our own internal dialogue.
Sometimes the voice feeding the old man is ours.
“Nobody ever stays.”
“I’ll always be this way.”
“Nothing ever works for me.”
“I can’t change.”
“This is just who I am.”
But what happens when Scripture says something different?
Renewal requires deciding which voice receives authority.
This Isn’t About Becoming Afraid of Everything
We need balance here too.
The answer isn’t to become suspicious of every movie, every song, every conversation, every person, or everything outside the church.
That isn’t freedom.
That’s fear.
Paul isn’t teaching believers to hide from the world.
He’s teaching us to stop allowing the world to determine who we are.
There is a difference.
Spiritual maturity learns to discern:
Can I engage with this without allowing it to shape me away from Christ?
Some things may be harmless for one person and unwise for another because of their history, weaknesses, or particular temptations.
That’s why discernment matters.
The question isn’t merely:
“Is this allowed?”
The better question may be:
“Does this help cultivate the person Christ is forming me to become?”
What Are You Nurturing?
Maybe today isn’t about making a massive list of everything you need to eliminate from your life.
Maybe it begins with observation.
What do you continually give your attention to?
What receives most of your mental energy?
What thoughts do you rehearse?
What conversations do you repeatedly participate in?
What environments awaken old patterns?
What influences shape your understanding of relationships, identity, sexuality, money, success, beauty, power, or happiness?
And then ask:
What is all of this growing in me?
Because whatever we continually nurture becomes easier to return to.
You Don’t Have to Feed the Person You Used to Be
Perhaps that’s the good news in all of this.
The old man doesn’t have to be continually nourished.
You don’t owe your former patterns another meal.
You don’t have to keep feeding the anger that once protected you.
You don’t have to keep feeding the fear that once kept you alert.
You don’t have to keep feeding the bitterness that once made you feel powerful.
You don’t have to keep feeding the appetite that once gave temporary comfort.
You don’t have to keep feeding the identity Christ is teaching you to put off.
You can begin nourishing something different.
Truth.
Peace.
Purity.
Forgiveness.
Patience.
Self-control.
Love.
The Word of God.
The presence of God.
And slowly, sometimes almost imperceptibly, something begins changing.
You respond differently.
You think differently.
You notice things differently.
Old things that once controlled you begin losing their grip.
Not because you became stronger than everyone else.
But because you stopped continually feeding what you were asking God to help you leave behind.
And you began making room for the life of Christ to grow in you.
So perhaps the question today isn’t:
“Why am I still struggling with the old man?”
Maybe the question is:
“Which man have I been feeding?”
Because you can’t keep feeding the old man and expect the new man to grow.
And perhaps today’s prayer can be very simple:
Father, show me what I have been feeding that no longer belongs in the life You are creating in me. Renew my mind through Your truth. Teach me what to put off, what to put on, and how to walk in the Spirit. Cultivate in me the fruit that reflects Christ. Amen.
Much Love
~Gayla~
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